University

I've got one year left of my degree. I have been so incredibly lazy with it though, I'm not quite sure how I've come this far. And with some good marks as well. I never feel motivated to do the work until the last minute though. I never think 'I'm really interested in this stuff, I'm gonna finish it right now!'. Even though I do enjoy reading and writing, it always feels like such a massive chore having to do any work. Maybe it's just the mindset and attitude I have towards education. I never liked studying or did any homework. I got 330 in my Leaving Cert and I have no idea how. When you take something you like and actually start studying it, I think that it loses a lot of the excitement that it used to give you. My first love is music, and I studied it for my Junior Cert and I fucking hated it. I have a layman's interest in Science and I learn things about it by myself in my own time, and I haven't lost any interest in it. I'm sure if I started studying it, my interest would just die. Why does it work this way?

I know I'm not alone in this. I know and have heard of plenty of people who say 'doing it in college has just killed my interest in it'. Maybe the expectations are too high. Maybe it's because everyone wants the end product without having to do the middle bit; we want to be experts in our chosen field but without having to put in the hard work. It's impatience, isn't it. It's not the educators fault, and the subject is just as exciting as you'd thought it would be, but you just want to have the degree right now.

Sometimes I wish I had chosen something that was just learning facts, rather than all these theories and bullshit that come with English Literature. At least it's only a minor. Creative Writing is fun I guess. But I want my degree now.